Jeff the nerd.

"Alright, if we are going to ride in this car, we at least have to agree never to play these horrendous vaginal squealings."
I clicked the radio to a different station, just as the terrible voice on the other end started to sing "...want to get a waaaaaeeeeyy...."
Willy pulled his finger from his nose. "Agreed."
We had 'borrowed' an older Suburban from a man who was chewing on the steering wheel while grunting at it. It seemed as thought he partially knew what he was doing, but couldn't figure anything out beyond sitting and making a mess on the driver's seat. We saved ammo by dispatching him with a brick.
The last few miles getting into the campus were pregnant with infected jumping out at us while we were trying to avoid hitting haphazardly-parked cars. The hood and bumper of the car was a greasy smear of congealed blood.
I pulled into the driveway of my former fraternity house, which seemed relatively untouched. Judging by the quantity of nerds that haunted the house, they probably were still unaware that the majority of the Cities was crawling with the very creatures they had killed a million times over in video games.
I thumped on the door a few times, waited the obligatory 90 seconds, and used my keys to open the door.
"Why did you knock if you had the keys?"
"I don't live here, and I'd rather have an idea if there were zombies in here, BEFORE I just hop in."
"Oh, so we should expect zombies then."
"No, the zombies would have been a lot more likely to open the door."
"Oh yeah, these guys. Why are we here?"
"Everybody knows that in case the zombie apocalypse actually happens, you need to bring one hardcore nerd with you; just don't give him a gun. Give him an axe. He needs the exercise."
We crept up the stairs carefully, checking every corner carefully before proceeding. Finally, we came to techno pumping from the room labeled "203." I raised my fist to knock on the door.
"Wait! I love this song!"
*Knock knock*
Jeff came to the door and peered through the cracked door. His eyes popped open when he saw me. "Isaac! Hey man!"
"Hey Jeff, how are you? Have you left the room lately?" He opened the door a little more, and a wave of BO, Axe, and doritoes greeted our noses.
"Um, yeah, I took a pee about two hours ago. Why?"
"No, I mean, have you left the house recently?"
He gave a nervous laugh. "No, I studied ahead and coincidentally bought the brand new Resident Death game! I've been pretty much locked into it."
Willy slapped the door. "Pack your warfighter gear, son. We have an infection outbreak."
Jeff's eyes grew huge. "Fuck me! Really? For real? Do. Not. Joke. About. That." He grabbed Willy's collar.
"Em, no." He pushed Jeff's hand from his collar. "I may have accidentally caused it. There're fucking zombies everywhere."
"I'm on my way! Let me grab my sword!"
I looked right at Willy and said "See? I bought a sword, just in case zombies happened. Youuuu came out with a fucking table leg!"